Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Disclaimers

  • All photos and text on this website are the property of Mark Scott Abeln and may not be reproduced without written permission.

  • The author does not speak for the Roman Catholic Church, the Latin Rite, the USCCB, the Archdiocese of Saint Louis, Knights of Columbus, Cardinal Mahoney, or any parish, oratory, or chapel, religious order, or any ordained or consecrated person whatsoever. All the opinions stated are his alone.

  • The author has a general policy to be tough with ideas and soft with people, and does not intend to be offensive.

  • The opinions here are for entertainment purposes only and are not guaranteed for any fitness of use, either materially or spiritually.

  • All text or photos that are not owned by the author are clearly marked and are used under the "fair use" doctrine. Anything that might be a copyright violation is unintended and, with reasonable proof of violation, will be promptly corrected.

  • The opinions stated here are intended to be based on traditional Catholic Christianity, as far as the author is aware, but he is not a theologian. Use at your own risk.

  • The author does not claim to be a good Christian. You can call him a hypocrite and Pharisee if you like.

  • Although the author often writes about virtue ethics and morality, he does not claim to be in fact either virtuous or moral. He is most definitely a sinner.

  • Although the opinions stated here are well-reasoned and insightful, they are the opinions of the author alone, although you really should agree with him.

  • The opinions stated here may not be the actual opinion of anyone, including the author, since the author is taking pain pills for a sprained ankle, and he feels really, really good right now.

  • If a million monkeys type at a million keyboards for a million years, eventually they would produce Shakespeare's Hamlet. It is a theoretical possibility that the author, by sheer probability, could have typed an article identical to someone else's.

  • The author voraciously (and distractedly) reads other people's writing daily, so he probably plagiarizes stuff all of the time without realizing it.

  • Friends of the author says that he has a "really good imagination"; by this they probably mean that he "makes things up".

  • As far as you know, the author is writing under a pseudonym, and that the incredibly handsome and dashing man in the photo is really somebody else.

  • The author is so influenced by the culture that he slips into bad opinion and language without even realizing it.

  • The author puts a joke in nearly every article, but no one ever seems to get it.

  • There is a distinct possibility that H4ck3r B0yz broke into the Blogger computer and changed everything that you are reading here, including this disclaimer.

  • Because the author is an opponent of the New World Order, the NSA, CIA, FBI, Interpol, and George Soros probably closely monitor this website, as well as anyone who visits it. Those black helicopters might be coming for you.

  • The author is not a cradle Catholic, but is one of those pesky, annoying converts.

  • The author loves writing stuff in ancient Greek and Latin, although he doesn't read either. He just thinks that it looks really cool.

  • The author has read only a trivial amount of C. S. Lewis, but he did read Tolkein's The Lord of the Rings in junior high school.

  • The author is greatly interested in the classical arts, but his childhood artistic talents dried up completely when he became 11 years old; now he can only draw horrible-looking stick figures.

  • The author likes to preach, so this website tends to be, well, preachy.

  • Philosophically, the author is attracted to Plato and Aristotle, and Aquinas was instrumental in his conversion; he is an opponent of modern and postmodern subjective philosophies. But what's true for him isn't necessarily true for you—although if you believe that, you are technically really goofy.

  • The author disclaims these disclaimers

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