Saturday, February 11, 2006

Secrets of the Code!

Scholars speculate that members of Opus Dei worship in this temple-like structure. Some say that they kneel before a stone containing fragments of the body of Mary Magdalene, who is mentioned in the Gnostic gospels.

I saw the new trailer for the notorious Da Vinci Code film last night. It looks like an exciting and entertaining piece of irreligion, conspiracy, and alternative history.

Not coincidentally, I received the following secret correspondence from a close friend at the Vatican, a monk in a Spanish religious order. Under no circumstances should anyone reveal this information.
Our little 'project' regarding the Da Vinci Code film must be considered a stunning success for the Church and for the Order. By carefully grooming numerous faithful Catholics in Hollywood for the last several years, we managed to infiltrate most aspects of the film production, from location scouting, financial management, casting, set construction, scripting, the soundtrack production, and even the final editing. While we managed to place associates in nearly all of the trades, we are most satisfied that one of the actresses, XXXXXXXXXXXX [name deleted for privacy], has been secretly a nun of the Order for the past seven years. Of our seventy-one associates in the production, only one was discovered to be a member of the Church.

While most viewers of the film will see it as an anti-Catholic, Post-Modern Feminist piece of propaganda, the hundreds of subliminal clues that we have placed in the film will have ultimately the opposite effect on viewers. These specially-placed clues and images, after some days, months, or even years, will give many viewers a strong desire to start a prayer life, have contrition for their sins, become obedient to the Magisterium, and to make Christ the center of their life.

An intelligent viewer can discern numerous clues that we have placed in the film. As a reward to the diligent, we have revealed some of the Church's closely-held secrets in code, including the real identity of the woman whom Christ considered greater than his Apostles, the verses removed from the Book of Daniel, and the secret that some of the true Popes actually lived in France and not in Rome. We have good reason to believe that the new Pope tacitly approves of these revelations.

Anyone who watches the film with the intent of confirming their anti-Church bias should be aware that unconsciously the opposite effect may occur.

Actually, the above is just a work of fiction. But it's based on scholarship. It could be true!

1 comment:

  1. Did you realy say what I think you said?
    Or did you say something to really cover up the truth?
    Maybe the true reality is hidend in the Bible, and has been waiting to be discovered for hundreds of years.
    We should et up a secret organization to search for the TRUTH. (MANY VOLUNTIERS WILL BE NEEDED)